Before I had kids, I disliked sex so much. SO SO MUCH. I kid you not. It felt like a chore for me and my body agreed. I am pretty certain I was not the only one who felt this way. Sure my relationship with my husband wasn’t a great one and it was extended into the bedroom, but my body wouldn’t help in the matter. First, I would have a hard time getting wet. Naturally wet. I had a stock pile of lube in my night dresser. Every brand, every type… you name it. It basically became an extension of my husbands (at the time) arm. It was not fun. But I had to deal with it.
Then came factor number two. I would rip. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. The thin skin between my hole and my anus (perineum) would tear. Slightly. But enough to not want sex because peeing after sex (which we all know we must do) would sting like a bitch. It was annoying and the discomfort totally not worth the sex I was having. Then, I got pregnant once and then twice and just like that the sex gods changed it all. HALLELUJAH. First off, yes during childbirth I ripped, like 90% of women do, but the doctor sewed me up in a way that sex after birth no longer hurt. No longer ripped. I was in awe. That I could have sex without the aftermath of pain. Cue happy dance. Sure I still had to slather on the lube but we had one thing solved and that alone made it worth it.
Fast forward to when I left my husband. My desire for sex was not really a thing… but don’t ask me why, a few weeks later, my hormones kicked in like I was hit by a moving train. I felt like a teenager, uncomfortable majority of the time with urges I’ve never had, or didn’t think were possible. I didn’t know how to contain myself, my vagina was clouding my judgement so I played with myself over and over. But OMG I was sooooooo wet. Naturally. WTF?! I was so confused. I never knew what it was to wet my panties, and now I felt like it was a standard thing. It was amazing… for the most part.
Then the dating apps, the random conversations with men, the sexting… made my insides so excited. More wetness. Then I started having sex, with random men and the first thing they would say (literally all of them):
“Oh wow, you are SOOOO wet”
“yes yes I am” I said every single time while nodding my head in agreement. It made them salivate knowing I am so wet. Probably thinking their doing, but nah – it was typical. You kissed my neck, or touched my inner thigh… cue wetness. It’s just how it was/is. At first I thought it was the best thing ever, but can you believe (I can’t believe I am even saying this) there is a HUGE DISADVANTAGE with TOO MUCH WETNESS. You are probably wondering ..Wha?! I feel you. I constantly have that reaction every time I fuck a guy. But it is true. Sure I don’t need to use lube but it also means I feel NOTHING…. NOTHING I TELL YOU. The guy needs to be thick and long (6.5-7.5 is what my vagina prefers) otherwise I don’t feel a thing. It makes me sad really because I don’t want to discriminate when it comes to penis size. But everytime I tell myself, it’s going to be great sex, it is not. I am disappointed. My vagina is screaming at me “WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU KNOW BETTER”
So here I am, with a huge problem on my hands (or in my panties) over wetness… and it is making sex less and less fun or more complicated. I don’t know what to do (and no wiping myself down during sex is not an option – hello mood killer). I have not gotten to the point of asking guys their dick size… I refuse. But in all honesty, maybe it is something I should do. I know sex isn’t all about penetration and more often then not those with an average size penis (5.6 inches) are soooooo much better with the rest. Fingers. Tongue. Touch … you name it. So ya, I need to find a solution. Any ideas?!