22 – Attempt No. 2 

While I successfully had sex with two guys (yay!!!) I didn’t give up on the other ones. I was becoming a pro at managing more than one male at the same time. It’s easy when you have the same story. Simple rinse and repeat. I had to keep their interest if I wanted to have sex in a near future. I was on a mission, what can I tell you.

After my failed “first” with Mr. Persuasive Small D… I was ready to call it quits. I didn’t have time to waste and honestly I just didn’t know if it was worth it. Some of my girl friends told me that they’ve experienced no hard-on and explained it was probably due to stress but insisted I give him another try. I wasn’t convinced but decided to – you know, so I can tally up all this information is a massive spreadsheet.

Would he fail at attempt no. 2? I wasn’t very optimistic to be honest… but only time would tell. We chatted back and forth for a good 3-4 weeks after our first date. If you can even call it that. He had talked about having this special sex chair that we could use. That got me really excited. Trying something new. Something I could add or cross off my list.

I decided that I would go to his place and put this behind me. Prove that he could get a hard-on and that he wasn’t as small as I remembered. I got to his place it was about 11 at night. He opened the door for me and I sat on the couch. We talked a little, watched a few YouTube videos and he started kissing me. I wasn’t as excited as the first time. But I brushed it off… hoping it would get better.

It didn’t. I touched him. I even tried to give him a hand/blowjob to make him hard. It didn’t work. His dick was still tiny. I was frustrated – not at him, but at me for considering doing this exact thing for a second time. I told him I was tired, got dressed and left. I had no desire to be there. I was gone by midnight.


This basically proved that I should listen to that gut feeling. The guy was sweet…that wasn’t the issue. I was looking for a boy toy. Someone who can satisfy me and fuck the heck out of me. He wasn’t that. Clearly. He couldn’t EVEN get hard. Blame it on what you want (stress, tired, sick)… there’s this thing I call chemistry… and it just wasn’t there.

Then I got the “ah-hah” moment. I decided that it was time to do some cleaning. I told Mr. Persuasive Small D that it wouldn’t work out. He was the first guy I would actually turn down. This has NEVER happened to me. I was always the one dumped. It felt nice, like I was in control of me. He was confused as to why all of a sudden, after over 1.5 months of chatting I would cross him off my list (and not the sex bucket one) – I didn’t want to have to explain that it was because of his lack of performance – so I was very vague. He respected my choice but was thrown off. He said he really liked me. Oh gosh – I certainly don’t need attachment either.

That same night, I decided to message Mr. Greek Geek. While we had great chemistry and the sexual tension was more than present… he just seemed clingy. He would ask questions about whether I wanted more kids, or if I would consider moving elsewhere. Plus, the kissing in public thing. What was he thinking? That this would become serious? Oh hell no. I was told the moment you felt a guy was getting attached you get rid of that pronto. You throw him to the sharks and run the other way. That’s exactly what I did…. no mercy.

Both messaged me a few times “I miss you” or “Are you sure we can’t see each other again?!” – they clearly didn’t understand the meaning to getting dumped. I guess I left them a lasting impression… yay for me. It was time to focus of my other guys… and seeing I threw one to the sharks, it made me want to make plans with one


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