My good girl friend was tired of me being on my iPhone trying to get matches left and right. “You need to meet real people, you are coming out with me. We are going to a happy hour” Oh boy… I was not ready for this. Hiding behind a computer or phone was easy for me. Conversations flowed this way, guys couldn’t see my facial expressions and it wasn’t awkward. I don’t do bars. Or happy hours. But I was newly single and I had no choice. My friend was dragging me there – and I had no say in the matter.
I arrived on time. My friend was late. She’s always late. So there I was, going in this bar, alone. She told me it was a happening place. As soon as I walked in I felt a million eyes looking at me. Every guy was in a suit, clearly coming from work. Girls had drinks in hands and usually in packs of two or threes. Where was I? This was clearly a “Meat” Market. I felt uncomfortable. Where was my friend to save me?!
I pretended to be on my iPhone while I was waiting for her to arrive. That way I avoided eye contact and/or having a random guy approach me. I was NOT ready for that. She finally arrives, 30 mins later… felt like 2 hours. No joke.
She’s been here before. The place was packed not a free table in sight, yet she managed to talk to the cute bartender and got us a table in 10 minutes flat. Clearly she knew what she’s doing. I needed to take notes.
It was a happening place, lots of cute guys but I was not used to taking the time to notice. I never picked up on when a guy would look at me. I’m horrible at that. They could be waving a flag and I wouldn’t notice, so my girlfriend made me open up my senses.
In 10 seconds flat, she was able to pin point all the cute guys in the place. “At 11 o’clock, guy with beard – he’s hot. Then there’s the dude at 1 o’clock, he seems nice. Then there’s 4 o’clock. Next to you, hot older man, apparently those are great in bed. Behind us, at 7 o’clock – not bad” Wow, I was speechless. That’s some serious skill. I need to pick up on those. Not the guys, but the skills.
We ordered drinks and a bite to eat. We are chatting about my Tinder matches the good and failed ones. We laughed our asses off… it was a great time. I needed that. We even had the guys behind me start flirting with us. I was not ready for that. So I let my friend do all the talking.
I was concentrating on eating the remaining of my plate while sipping on my glass of red wine. My friend finally came back to me and our fun conversations. I thanked her for dragging me out here, she was pleased to know I was having a good time – I needed it. A break from the breakup she called it.
As we were chatting away, someone grabs her by the shoulders. It startled me. I look up … OMFG it’s Highschool Bro’ Player – the guy who randomly messaged me on Facebook 15 minutes into my newly single life for a fuck date. I hadn’t seen him in years. And he was as heavenly as I remembered him in highschool. I started to blush because we both knew the conversations we exchanged. My friend did not. Oh and minor detail… he happens to be my friends brother. I kid you not.
“Hey HBP…. how are you? Look this is Miss M… she’s single now. Newly divorced and she hot! Isn’t she hot?!” I wanted to kill her. She drank too much and put me in an awkward position she had no clue. We both smiled nervously at each other and brushed off her comment. Her brother left to go sit at another table. I was red as fuck – I was hot, flustered and horny as hell. “You know Miss M, use my brother – got for it. Use him like he will use you. Have fun. Just don’t tell me the details” Did she really just give me permission to sleep with her brother? I think so. And while I was not opting for this option, seeing him most certainly made me sway my decision the other way.
I couldn’t handle it anymore… I needed sex. This was all too much for me. I grabbed my phone and messaged Mr. Macaron – he was awake. I told him I was coming over for a sex date… and in less than 45 mins I was lying naked on his couch …