8 – My golden rules

After my 15 minute meeting with Mr. Macaron, I knew we would be seeing each other within the next few days. The idea of actually (this time around) having sex was extremely exciting. It was exactly one month after I decided to leave my husband. Sure for many, 1 month is nothing – some might even think its a little quick, but I was not on these sites to find my next husband. It was purely sexual and with all the crap that was going on, it was my way to decompress. To stress less – if I can say that.

My mind and heart were long gone so while my body was present, I had closed the chapter to what was my 11 year relationship / 6 year marriage long prior to the actual day I left. I was ready to move on, and to me – sex was exactly what the doctor ordered. (not really – but you get my point) I have been told that 20 mins a day of exercise acts like an anti-depressant – and while I never worked out in my life, I figured sex could be my exercise. No?


Knowing sex was so close, I had to evaluate my limits and actually verbalize them. What was I ready to do or not do? What made me feel uncomfortable? What do I expect of the other person? These were all valid questions and I needed to answer them pronto. I was not going to go through this without understanding / respecting what I wanted. For the longest time I pleased others. This time it was time to please myself and do it in a healthy manner.

These are the rules I decided were important to me. Sure you will say rules are meant to be broken (and maybe they will in time) for for now, having these made me feel safe and in control.


  1. I refuse to give a blowjob on the first ‘date’ 

    I am not a fan of giving head (is any girl a fan really?) and while many guys can think it’s a given on a sex date… I made it clear that I wanted to feel comfortable with the guy before I went down on him. I’m not saying I will never do it – but it’s a give / give situation. And only I DECIDE when I’m ready.

  2. Condoms are non-negotiable

    You’d think this is an easy one – but you’d be surprised at the amount of guys who are willing to sleep with a girl sans condom without knowing her background. I am extremely careful about sex, I most certainly don’t want to catch anything so the rule is simple, you want your P to go in my V then put it on! Plain and simple!

  3. I don’t swallow

    Seeing I am not a fan of blowjobs, I have never even finished a blowjob (as in I have never gotten a guy to cum). The idea of having hot cum in my mouth turns me off and the fact that I’d have to swallow it on top of that makes me want to gag. I have never done it … so I don’t know if I would react that way… that its something I am not interested in trying.  

  4. No golden showers /  shit / facials

    This one is pretty self explanatory – I don’t want any pee/crap near me. You can keep that shit to yourself (pun intended). As for cum on me… that’s fine with the exception of my face. I don’t need any facials. I think my skin looks good just the way it is. 

  5. No Photos or Videos

    Already that I am stepping out of my comfort zone, I don’t want to add another stress factor to my sex life. While I applaud those who take photos or videos while doing the deed… it scares the bejesus out of me. I don’t want to have that on my phone or on someone elses. You never know where they can pop up. It’s also a big reason why I take naked pics sans face. That way no one knows its me.  Well I hope anyway.

After having had the golden rules conversation with Mr. Macaron… I was ready to go. He said he understood and respected my rules and would try his best to remember them. He did inquire about certain things that I had excluded in my rules. “What about anal?, do you do that?” – “Yes, Yes I do … and honestly I love it” Cue crickets. I don’t think he was expecting that. “Even on the first ‘date’?” – “Yup!” I responded. He was speechless and I could hear him smile on the other end of the phone.

“See you tomorrow” I told him.
“Looking forward to it” he responded.


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