My first official Tinder Match was this adorable Canadian / US ex-military. He was good looking, charming and had a son. The idea of having a single parent seemed to make this dating (cough cough sex) thing a little easier. I could have some sort of conversation (other then sex related) seeing we had common backgrounds and it made all of this a little less intimidating.
We really hit it off, we started chatting, exchanging sexy pics and boy oh boy was I looking forward to seeing him. The idea that he would be my first seemed surreal. Like how can I guy like that want me? But those were my insecurities talking. Because I was HOT… he said so. Multiple times.
This was all so exciting. New. Nothing I have experience before (clearly). Steaming hot conversations, accompanied with pictures and the teasing even during the daytime. Out of this world. It made getting to our first “date” unbearable…
How could I be wanting this so bad when sex was not a thing I loved in the past? I was so awaken by my sexual side that it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like a teenage boy. All I wanted was sex. I even had a hard time focusing. No joke.
When one person has kids, its much easier then when both do. We had to make both schedules work and it was a little complicated. When we finally fixed turned out to be on his birthday. How flattering. He wanted me for dessert. His birthday dessert. No pressure there.
We set our date for 8pm. His place. On his birthday. I was doing a 40 min drive for him. For sex. But it was well worth it. I was giddy, nervous but I made it. I have to admit I did stay in the car a good 10 mins to mentally prepare myself. I gave myself a pep talk. YOU CAN DO THIS. AND YOU WILL ROCK AT IT TOO…
I ring the doorbell and he was waiting for me. I hand him over dessert (real birthday dessert) and a bottle of wine. He pours me a glass of his already opened bottle and we drink and started talking to ease the tension a little… one glass, two glasses, 1 hour passes, 2 hours passes and I am still sitting on the couch dressed. What is going on? I thought I was here for a reason. It was clear. Was I intimidating? I don’t think I was.
Well something happened because we talked for 5 hours. 5 hours!!!! and no sex. He apologized on several occasions and I couldn’t be angry with him because of it. But I won’t lie I was shattered. My sex dreams gone…. and he kept my wine bottle.
I knew deep down this was his way of backing out… and my, what I thought would be my first, was none…Talk about the new insecurities… being turned down like that. After all that work.
But hey… I didn’t let it get to me. He’s the one that doesn’t know what he is missing. Plus, I had several other matches waiting for my cue.